Wedding Invitation Etiquette

The traditional wording of the bride’s parents inviting guests to the marriage of their daughter comes from the days when women got married without ever living on their own, but rather going straight from their childhood home to a residence with their husband and parents covering all costs of the celebration. With increased independence and people getting married later, the question of phrasing is an opportunity for more flexibility. It’s up to the couple to decide who they’d like to name as hosts on the invitation. Parents, honorary parents, the couple themselves, children: there are arguments for all of them to be the ones inviting guests to attend the nuptial event. A good rule of thumb, for invitations and the wedding itself, is to be as inclusive as possible. Another good rule of thumb, which again applies to both the invitation and the wedding, is to keep it simple. Between these two rules, there are many possibilities!

Invitations have gotten increasingly elaborate and colorful, so when you’re reviewing the final proof before ordering, make sure that all names are spelled correctly, double check the date and time, and consider getting a fresh set of eyes to confirm that the formatting displays all this information clearly and consistently.

Why Are There So Many Envelopes?

The tradition of outer envelopes (with the address and the stamp) and the inner envelopes (with the names of those invited) comes from a time when envelopes could get rather dirty: the inner envelope was meant to provide a more pristine experience for the recipient. It’s a little gesture that helps set a more formal tone, but it’s not necessary, especially if your event is more laid-back.

What Does RSVP Mean on an Invitation?

This abbreviation is French for “respondez, s’il vous plait,” which means, respond, please! So there’s no need to add an extra please because the French have already incorporated it. We do recommend adding a date, to encourage action on the part of your invited guests.

How to Encourage Guests to RSVP

Numerous etiquette experts, as well as various wedding hosts, have bemoaned guests’ unwillingness to commit to attend. If you include a response card, providing an addressed, stamped envelope, it has shown to help increase your response rate. You should also consider including an email address: this makes it really easy for guests and can help you keep track of responses.

If someone has received a save-the-date, etiquette requires that they also receive an invitation. If someone is in a relationship, you should include the name of their partner on the invitation. It’s best to draw hard-and-fast rules for questions like kids or distant relatives (all first cousins but no second cousins, for instance). This way, even if people’s feelings are hurt, it’s clear from your end that it’s not personal. If you are inviting children, you can address the outer envelope to “The Smith Family” and then list the children’s names on the inner envelope (or, for more informal invitations, just go with “The Smith Family”).

Should Wedding Invitations Include Registry Information?

Here is an instance where you should keep art and commerce separated. We’re not afraid to declare it: registry information has no place on your invitation. Put it on your wedding website, let other family members spread the word if guests ask, but keep if off the invite.